Is the Party Over After All?Who would have thought that Lori Petty's television career would be so short-lived? Well, I did, actually. And so did that thrice-damned Regis) Bastard. It was only by accident that I ran across the news this afternoon in an Associated Press story about NBC's dominance in the Nielsens last week.
Here's the salient paragraph:
"Not so lucky were two Fox newcomers. On his first day on the job, Entertainment President Peter Roth announced a hiatus for 'Party Girl' (which ranked 88th) after next Monday's broadcast, though he promised a 'major re-launch later this season.' Its companion sitcom, 'Lush Life,' which tied for 93rd, was cancelled outright after next week. Both debuted Sept. 9."I considered it good news. It just so happens that I had picked "Party Girl" and "Lush Life" to fall first and second. It was so obvious, even a child could have predicted it. I could taste victory, in the form of prime rib. After all those years of ignominious failure as a TV pundit, for a moment, it looked like everything was going my way.
Then I read it again. I started to see the qualifiers, the hedging. I read the words "hiatus" and "re-launch." And that succulent prime rib I was savoring suddenly turned to aluminum foil.
See, we have a problem. "Hiatus" does not a cancellation make--at least, not technically. So "Party Girl" is in TV limbo. Maybe it will be back, maybe it won't. Right now, though, it looks like "Lush Life" is the first official cancellation. Let us all do the Dance of Joy. Trouble is, Regis Bastard picked it first. I picked it second.
Damn you, Regis Bastard.
Because, let's face it: in your heart, you know I'm right. Turn out the lights, "Party Girl" is over. The only thing that cutey from the Brady Bunch movies has to look forward to now is -- well, more Brady Bunch movies. And you heard it here first. From me.
Of course, Regis will tell you, in that smug little way of his, that you really heard it from him first. Sure, okay, that may be true. He did predict that "Party Girl" would be spared cancellation, placed on "hiatus," and "retooled." And that seems to be the case -- for now.
But what if ol' Pete Roth changes his mind? These TV executives are notoriously flakey. Suppose "Party Girl's" producers offend him in some way -- maybe they aren't obsequious enough for his tastes. Or maybe that cutey from the Brady Bunch films gets arrested in Malibu with a loaded .357 magnum and a fat Zip-Loc freezer bag full of black tar heroin? "'Party Girl' Busted With Drugs, Gun; Fox Execs Junk Re-Launch," says Daily Variety. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Let us not forget that Fox is notorious for placing shows on "hiatus" permanently. It happened in '94 with a couple of shows I've long since forgotten. And I think it happened last year. So, anyway, it happens.
In that case, my moral victory becomes real. And everyone who thought Peter Strauss would be the first out of a job has a lot of soul-searching to do.
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