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TeeVee Crossword: The Curse of Sal Mineo
The only thing more depressing than not being able to finish the crossword in TV Guide is being able to do it dead drunk in less than ten minutes, and you even ace the clue about Sal Mineo. If you can do that, it's a pretty clear indicator you've wasted precious years of your life.
Of course, you could compound your wasteful error by having the temerity to think you could outdo the guy at TV Guide and create a puzzle for the ages!
That or heat up a frozen burrito.... either way, it's pretty pathetic.
(Click here to get the crossword in attractive, ready-for-printing PDF format.
1. Fred Sanford pal
6. Despite its name, this show was not about a Mexican prostitute.
9. Bochco boner
10. Childhood stardom wasn't enough, so he faked his own death.
11. This dog's life a cautionary '80s tale for the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
13. Good night, Mole Boy.
14. MTV's original spice boy.
15. Yes, dammit, he's still alive!
16. She's still fit enough to bitch-slap Alexis.
17. Even Andy Griffith couldn't save this clunker.
19. Outer-space hero of coffee drinkers and Mr. T.
21. This schlockmeister knows nepotism.
23. Neat freak.
26. If you can still speak "ubbi dubbi," you probably know the name of this
show, and definately need psychiatric help.
28. Cartoon Network's mysterious motorist.
29. The Love Boat's "oochi coochi" girl.
30. Toby was his slave name, and his African name would quickly be turned into a racial slur by mean-spirited elementary school students...
well, at least in my neighborhood.
31. Late-night rerun patrol.
2. '80s A-Team and Magnum P.I. ripoff--but with a robot!
3. They'll call you "_____-mouth" if you don't brush.
4. He slipped the salami to Alice.
5. A nation shrugged when Burger King asked America to find this man.
7. Before Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek got his kicks with these folks.
8. Billy and Mentor's ride every Saturday morning.
12. Steve Austin's ultimate wrestling buddy.
14. "Ancient Chinese secret, huh?" This detergent smeared Asian-Americans as wily nogoodniks.
18. Detective spoof brought on by Tim Conway's hefty mortgage payment.
20. Bostonian swizzle stick.
21. Arsenio says he's really well-hung.
22. Be it TV or newspapers, this guy is no hack.
24. This What's Happenin' star is New to You!
25. Don't drop the soap here, HBO viewers.
27. Vega$, baby. Vega$.
That someone could actually pull off a cartoon that somehow combined Scooby Doo and a Spielberg epic astounds me to this very day.
Click here to see the answers. And the PDF answers are here.)
Congratulations to the astounding James Gerace, who sent us the correct answer list before anyone else. James wins himself a brand-spaking-new TeeVee t-shirt!