We watch... so you don't have to.

Whither Don Knotts?

I watched the season premiere of Friends last week. It was a little too reminiscent of the Three's Company school of miscommunication-driven comedy, but without Jack's hilarious pratfalls to soften the blow. I don't recommend it.

So whatever should you do? Surely you don't want to waste your precious, precious time watching such drivel. The fact that you are visiting this site is ample evidence that you are an up-and-comer, a man or woman on the go with no time to spare for trivialities! And yet, you have been aching all summer to know the resolution of last season's cliffhanger. So as a service to you, I will save you the time of watching the show and tell you what you've been waiting months to find out. This season, Matthew Perry is:

a. Gaunt
b. Fat

I think that means four more weeks of winter.


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