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Bass Player of the Apocalypse

So yesterday, I'm flipping channels while trying to think of a new word to describe the distinctive non-bliss of a sciatic nerve in active rebellion, and there's a kid playing a monster bass guitar solo live on stage somewhere. Say what you will about bass solos: this boy's got groove; he's got speed; he's got phrasing; he's got tone; he's got funk; he's got the drummer by the short ones and is forcing him to follow a twisty, windy, percussive, melodic path through a couple different time signatures. Whoo hoo! (And he's a lot younger than me, which is kinda depressing, but I pretend I'm not noticing that part.) The rest of the band apparently expected a bass break, but not this kind of bass break: the kid keeps it going, developing, growing, doing clever funny things, and now he's jumping around, has a huge infectious grin on his face, then stops the drummer cold and pulls a really cool move by running through the changes of Giant Steps at about 1,000 miles an hour then detuning and slamming a low B flat and waiting for the rest of the band to realize, yes, he's done now, you can start playing your little dinky instruments anytime you like, if you feel you might have anything to add. The band's jaws remain agape; they don't resume whatever they were playing. One of the guitarists recovers his lower jaw and starts clapping. The crowd is whooping it up.

Now, see, since a roof leak in October, my TV is kinda unhappy: it doesn't display a picture very well, and rarely remembers its settings. But given the current economic climate, getting a new TV is what we call a "medium-term goal," so I've stopped using channel locking features to ban things like home shopping channels and CBS, because the TV never remembers anyway.

And I realize the most butt-kicking live bass solo I've heard in a year or more, played by a kid who's maybe old enough to be out past curfew, was just brought to me by one of the Bible-thumping evangelical channels probably best known for preachers with massive comb-overs, very special episodes of speaking in tongues, and healings-of-the-week.

I think it might be a sign of the Apocalypse.


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