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Observe the Snow -- It Fornicates

For the last four years, maybe more, I have been beset by this Sears commercial. I assume it doesn't run throughout the country, but here it does run, all through the summer, all during Nickelodeon's children's programming. In it a couple of happy homebodies are sweating out another scorching summer day and decide to call Sears for a central air conditioning system, and the very next instant they are happily freezing their secondary sexual characteristics off while, presumably, less perspicacious couples are dying of heat stroke in each other's arms.

The commercial itself isn't unpleasant or offensive in its own low-rent way, but it is ubiquitous. It airs just about once an hour every daylight hour for the entirety of May, June, July, and August, at least, and very probably for most of April and September, too.

Last summer I realized I had been living with this couple and their indoor environmental concerns for most of the life of my eldest son. Not long after that Sears, apparently cued by their Advertising, Division of Telepathy Department, started running a new commercial for the winter months. This new commercial was very nearly the same only the reverse: A couple is unhappily freezing their secondary sexual characteristics off and they order a new heating system. See the difference?

This commercial ran all winter much the same way the previous commercial ran all summer, about once every hour, until I became friends with this new environmentally challenged couple.

Perhaps Sears commercials are now run on some automatic switching system, because last month the heating commercial went away and was replaced by the old favorite, cooling commercial.

The only problem with this: Three days ago it was snowing.


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