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TeeVee C.V.

Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2003 09:31:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: Billie Cagney
Subject: The Vidiots
To: teevee@teevee.org

Dear Madam/Sir:

I am just curious as to what credentials "The Vidiots" hold?

Thank you,

Billie Cagney

Dear Billie,

Thank you for your inquiry. We're pleased to share with you the credentials of The Vidiots, perhaps the most credentialed bunch of writers ever assembled by a dot-org Web site.

Jason Snell began his career with the Sonora (California) Times-Advertiser, where he won the 1978 Pulitzer Prize for a series of articles exposing corruption within the Sonora PTA. In the early '80s, Snell began writing a television criticism column; it's now syndicated in more than 50 weekly Christian newspapers across the country. Snell's commentary can also be heard on 1450AM (Martinez, California) on Thursdays during the Morning Wake-Up Call with Bob and Cap'n Skiffy from 5:30 a.m. to 10 a.m.

Greg Knauss, our senior director of technology, is the author of an acclaimed series of "Star Trek" novelizations written in the original Klingon. He is acting past president of the Southern California Association of TV, Film, and Radio Critics, Sherman Oaks chapter.

Lisa Schmeiser, a professor of kinesiology at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California, is perhaps best known for her book, "Drop Those Coconuts, Gilligan: Muscle Control and Movement in the Works of Sherwood Schwartz." She's currently on sabbatical to finish up a three-volume collection of poems about her cats.

Philip Michaels is a writer, actor, singer and dancer who can currently be seen as the Rum Tum Tugger in the Alameda Civic Light Opera Company's production of "Cats." He also has a degree in Television Repair that he received after watching that Sally Struthers commercial. You know the one.

Steve Lutz has written several dozen spec scripts for some of television's most beloved shows, including a very special episode of Charles in Charge in which Charles (Scott Baio) accidentally kills Buddy (Willie Aames). Steve was also a production assistant on "Willie Tyler & Lester's Christmas in Newark," a 1999 holiday special that achieved some of the highest ratings ever enjoyed by the Pax Network.

Christopher Rywalt comes to us from the New York Times, where he covered several national news stories under the byline Jayson Blair. At least, that's what Chris tells us, and we have no reason to doubt his veracity or to ask him for any references.

Ben Boychuk died several years ago in a freak ballooning accident. We keep his name on the masthead as part our settlement with his widow.

Monty "Monty" Ashley is a Canadian Broadcasting Company correspondent and a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. His interviews with some of Hollywood's biggest stars -- Greg Evigan, Conrad Bain, and Della Reese -- have appeared in the pages of a weekly newsletter he mails off to family and friends.

Peter Ko is a token hire who only writes for us whenever the EEOC starts breathing down our necks. The rest of the time, he starches our shirts.

Gregg Wrenn is best known to most readers for his portrayal of the beloved Ephram Winkler on TV's Father Murphy. His insider knowledge of the workings of television is an invaluable resource to TeeVee, and his employment here helps meet the conditions of his parole.

These are the credentials of the Vidiots -- experienced, trustworthy professionals with the talent and know-how to bring you respected, well-informed TV commentary and not at all the sort of people who just make shit up for a cheap laugh.


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