We watch... so you don't have to.

Best of all Julie Chen Worlds?

Julie and Les Moonves, sitting in a tree, c-h-e-c-k-i-n-g the overnights...

It could be worse: Les could be mad with lust and demanding that Julie Chen be given guest appearances on all the CBS shows. One week, she could be a Chinese double-agent on JAG. And then she's the columnist who threatens Ray's job on Everybody Loves Raymond. The Handler gets a weird media boost when Joey Pants gets slotted in a Big Brother-like house as part of some moebius-like cover operation which requires him to bust some sort of underground reality show crime ring. After that, Chen turns to The Brotherhood of Poland, NH, where David E. Kelley will demonstrate his typical sensitivity toward gender and ethnic identification by having her dispense "ancient Chinese secret" to the poor women on that show, thus making them all hot for the opportunity to worship at the altar of Randy Quaid. She then turns to freelance forensics, being the common element that ties together the Without a Trace, Cold Case, CSI and CSI: Miami crossover episodes when she solves a decades-old mysterious disappearance involving alligators and desert mummification. Then it's off to NCIS as Mark Harmon's love interest of the week, followed by a stop on Judging Amy where she solves a longtime plot dilemma by busting up Amy's wedding and running off with the would-be groom, and a detour through The Guardian where she makes amatory mischief with the pretty boy on that show. Chen would then cap her reign of primetime terror announcing that everyone on 60 Minutes has been fired and she's replacing them all.

In another, crueler world, she could be all over CBS's schedule. Let us just be grateful she's confined to two shows on this one.


TeeVee - About Us - Archive - Where We Are Now

Got a comment? Mail us at teevee@teevee.org.

* * *