Got Anything I Can Take for a Flaccid Metaphor?
Far be it from me to impugn the wondrousness of its effects. And don't think for an instant I wish to extinguish the tiny glimmer of hope I see when American society wavers in its Puritanical stance against recreational chemicals. But last I checked, there were no massive ad campaigns for powdered rhinoceros horn and we almost wiped an entire species from the face of the Earth buying that. So do we really need TV advertising for Viagra?
More to the point, do we need ads showing Rafael Palmeiro shilling for the "blue diamond" over footage of his hitting home runs? Yes, I think I get it now: Rafael takes Viagra and now he can SWING his BAT really HARD. His BALLS are now VERY POWERFUL. Yes, thanks to you, Pfizer, Rafael can now SCORE more FREQUENTLY.
I would like to propose some further possible ad campaigns, then, in the interests of improved subtlety:
No charge, Pfizer, although I could use some free samples.
Got a comment? Mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org.