We watch... so you don't have to.
'Queer Eye' - So You Don't Have To
I feel that reality TV is the only thing in the world more boring than reality itself. However, my wife (yes, it's very weird to say that) watches Queer Eye for the Straight Guy so I have caught enough bits and pieces to present you a guide to the show and save you the trouble of watching it yourself.
The premise is that a quintent of gay men hook up with an impossibly slovenly,
clueless oaf and teach him how to be slightly less clueless, slovenly, and oafish,
if only for a few hours. A roster of the so-called Fab 5 follows:
- Carson: The Fashion Gay. His comic genius actually makes watching reality
TV bearable. His routine is to go to the oaf's closet, mock the unattractiveness
of his garments, dump them on the floor, and then take him shopping for a
couple of stylish garments. The oaf now has two stylistically sound garments to offset his hundreds of ugly ones.
- Kyan: The Grooming Gay. An excessively attractive bone thrown to the
hag demographic. He criticizes the brand, variety, and organization of the
oaf's "products" and buys him some much more expensive products.
- Ted: The Food Gay. Nerds can be gay too! He handholds the oaf through one
home-cooked meal, though it's clear enough that having shot his culinary wad
the oaf will soon return to standing over the sink and eating cold refried
beans from the can.
- Thom: The Interior Design Gay. What he lacks in tact he makes up for in
talent. He is the most useful of gays because his usually stunning redecoration
of the oaf's apartment will last long after the hygeine products have run
out and the two fashionable garments have become hopelessly stained with tabasco
- Jai: The Culture Gay. I'm not exactly sure what his purpose is. I think
they just wanted someone who looks like a little boy.
After the Fab 5 do their thing they release the oaf into the wild and monitor
his progress via cameras placed throughout his hovel. This is invariably the
most painful part of the show; the 5's dubbed-over catty remarks can't overcome
the fundamental inanity of watching someone shower, groom, and engage in awkward
My overall assessment is this: Carson needs to be given his own show or country.
The rest of it I can take or leave (though I'm leaning towards leave).