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Gimme a Break. And a Boobie.

AP sez: "The chief federal regulator of broadcasting said Monday he was outraged by the Super Bowl halftime show in which Justin Timberlake tore off part of Janet Jackson's costume, exposing her breast, and said he was ordering an immediate investigation."

Are we as a nation really this upset over almost seeing one entire boobie? Are we supposed to take this that seriously? Why is a woman's breast so offensive, anyway? At this point in America, our public officials are claiming that, essentially, no one between the ages of about four and eighteen should see boobies (since four and younger probably accompany their moms into the bathroom and the bath, and may even be nursing). What exactly is so sacrosanct about a) those fourteen years and b) the fucking Superbowl that we should keep the tits away? Are we really that strapped for things to get angry about?

I'm a little weirded out, just as anyone might be, to find that Michael's youngest sister is into nipple torture. But, honestly, does it matter? Breasts are shown all over European TV all the time, and it's not like they're out fucking in the streets and raping children. Last I checked, in fact, western Europe's birthrate was below replacement, so if anything, the effect of nudity on TV is the opposite of sex. Maybe we could call it powelling, after the Federal Communications Commission chief: Sitting in front of the TV hoping to see titties.


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