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The Simple Life, Part 3: Wheelchair Days

I just read on AP that Paris Hilton was thrown from a horse during the taping of The Simple Life 2 and hospitalized. While I do not wish that Paris was actually hurt -- as much as I despise her public persona and deeply resent the fact that I even know the name of such a seemingly worthless creature -- I can't help but think that The Simple Life would be greatly improved by a helping of Christopher Reeveism.

Imagine, if you will, The Simplest Life, in which we watch as a paralyzed Paris lies perfectly still, with a soundtrack of respiratory machinery, the monotony only occasionally broken as she blinks.

Granted that this would cut greatly into her extracurricular activities, especially those involving infrared videocameras and mugging frat boys. I think, though, that it would still total up as a net profit for the entertainment industry.


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