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Plastic Surgery Mania

I both understand and am puzzled by the surge in attention the national media is paying to plastic surgery. It does seem to be all over the TV.

I enjoyed "Shrek 2" immensely but I was flabbergasted by the ending (which I'm about to give away). Shrek and Fiona are a married pair of ogres: Smelly, ugly, unpleasant creatures with, you can be sure, hearts of gold. By magic they've been transformed, though, into what we are to take as incredibly gorgeous humans. All they need to do to make it permanent -- fairy-tale style -- is to kiss before midnight. Fiona waits until one moment after midnight to kiss Shrek, thus leaving them to live out their lives as hideous green outcasts from human society. We're supposed to think of this as the happy ending.

I didn't. I have to say, I identify strongly with Shrek and Fiona. After all, I'm a smelly, ugly, unpleasant creature, and my wife... well, she's... she's a lovely woman, my wife, but....

Anyway, I identify strongly with Shrek and Fiona. But it seems to me if someone were able to magically make me and my wife into fantastically beautiful people, I'd run with it. I mean, what's the downside? I still get to spend my life with the woman I love, plus we get a huge vista of previously impossible to achieve sexual positions, and I can go to the beach and kick sand in the faces of fat, ugly people. Also, I could shop in normal human stores instead of having to order everything through a catalog. ("If you care so little about your appearance that you weigh 300 pounds, you don't need to try clothes on.") Sounds great to me!

That's what makes the idea of plastic surgery so intriguing. If I could, I would. Except, modern as it is, plastic surgery is still so gruesomely primitive. So I understand the obsession with plastic surgery because it's interesting to see people who want to transform themselves, and it probably makes a lot of people feel superior to see how shallow other people can be. On the other side, I'm puzzled because it's just so damned nasty, and the results are never really as good as you'd like.

I'll wait for the magic wand.


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