We watch... so you don't have to.

Love that 'Lost'

I am officially hooked on Lost. My wife and I sat down recently to watch the episodes which had collected on our TiVo and I found the show to be (as our original review claimed) absolutely excellent, excellent television.

It was rough going for the first episode, though, with my wife saying things like, "I think I'm going to throw up," and "I can't watch a scary show. If it's always this scary, I'm not gonna watch it," and "I don't need to watch a Freddy movie!" and "I don't need to watch a Jason movie!" and "Put on the third episode! I want to see what happens!"

I found the shows tense but very engaging. Some of the best TV I've seen. Great acting, and not one of them going for the obvious, except for the glaring will-they-or-won't-they between Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and Jack (Matthew Fox).

It's clear some honcho up at ABC is pushing the show's producers to string out the Kate and Jack thing as long as possible. They did it to Cheers, they did it to Moonlighting, they did it to Ed, and I'm sure they're doing it to Lost. Unlike those other shows, however, Lost evinces every sign of having the creativity to outlast this stupidity. (Besides which, only about a week has passed so far in Lost's compressed time-frame.)

The hanging question of Kate and Jack's relationship isn't the thing that keeps me coming back to the show anyway. In fact, not only am I not watching to see how that turns out, I'm also not watching just to stare at Evangeline Lilly (although a great show could made filming an hour of Lilly licking stamps), I'm not watching to see what everyone is doing on the island, I don't care what giant greature is crashing through the jungle, I'm not holding my breath for when Locke (Terry O'Quinn) snaps, I'm not wondering if Josh Holloway can do any impressions besides Dirk Benedict, and it honestly doesn't matter to me what the Korean couple is up to. I'm watching the show for just one reason:

I want to see when the fat guy (Jorge Garcia) starts to lose weight. After all, now that his constant supply of Ho-Hos and Mountain Dew has dried up, he's bound to get skinny. Of course, the actor's constant supply of Ho-Hos and Mountain Dew is going stronger than ever, so I wonder how the show will handle this. (Fortunately, there's that compressed time-frame to defer this decision for a little while.)

Maybe they hired an actor who just had gastric bypass surgery. That way, Garcia could get smaller and smaller all season, thus improving the realism of the show. Or maybe they went to the actor with a proposition: We'll hire a dietician and a personal trainer for you. You'll get paid to get in shape, and you'll get exposure on a national TV show! But then that'd be The Biggest Loser (a show whose relentless promos on NBC I find staggeringly offensive).

Or maybe he'll just stay a big fat guy and no one will say anything like, "Okay, who's been sneaking the wild boar jerky?"

However the show handles it, I'll be hanging in with Lost until the very end. And if Kate and Jack spend one episode having ecstatic rumpy-pumpy under the waterfall, well, that's just gravy.


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