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Lost on Lost

So tonight is the season finale of Lost and I must admit: I'm getting a little tired of the show. I've loved it a lot so far, but with the last few episodes, I've realized I had this feeling before, only back then it was called The X-Files. I'm bored with seeing flashbacks, most of which haven't told us anything recently, and I'm getting increasingly fed up with the show's way of spinning out plot thread after plot thread without bothering to tie up any of the old ones. I mean, it's like they simply never want to answer a question. The whole show can be boiled down to this (and I'm going to insert a spolier warning here, although a) I doubt very much that anyone can give anything away about this show since it makes no sense whatsoever and b) if you haven't caught up by now but you still plan on watching it, you're very pathetic):

 A bunch of people miraculously survive a plane crash on a tropical island.

 How did they survive? Why?

 The pilot just got eaten by a giant monster!

 A giant monster? What is it? How did it get there?

 There's a transmitter on the island!

 What's powering it? Why is it there?

 The dog lived!

 Huh? How did it manage that?

 Locke used to be paralyzed, and now he isn't!

 Did the island do that? Something about the crash? How did that happen?

 Hey, fresh water!

 Um, right.

 And mummified bodies!

 Of who?

 Someone knocked out Sayid while he was looking for the source of the transmission!

 Who? Why?

 Sayid found some crazy French chick in the jungle!

 Crazy French chick? Why is she crazy? What the fuck?

 A psychic predicted the crash to Claire!

 A psychic? You mean they're not all fakes?

 Ethan wasn't on the plane!

 Wait a second. Then how did he get there? What's he doing?

 Charlie's been killed! No, wait, he's still alive.

 Why isn't he dead? Is it because he was in that Lord of the Rings movie?

 Look, a locked briefcase. And a hatch.

 A hatch? What the fucking fuck?

 Oh, wait, the island, it also manufactures hallucinations.

 It does? How? Why?

 Another polar bear!

 Crap. Where did this one come from?

 And Walt has magic powers.

 Why? What can he do? What has this got to do with ANYTHING?

 Claire's back.

 What happened to her while she was away?

 Sawyer's hearing voices. And there's this boar which is really pissed at him.

 Voices? Intelligent boar? What next?

 Hurley won the lottery before the crash. And his numbers are printed on the side of the hatch.

 Uh huh. Why are there numbers on there? How is this all connected?

 There's another plane crashed on the island.

 Another plane. How did it get there? Why is it still there?

 The hatch lights up!

 What the fucking fuck, I mean, fuck!

 And Locke was the one who whomped Sayid on the head way back. Feels like years ago, don't it?

 Why would Locke do that?

 The French lady is back. The Others are coming!

 Double crap. Who are the Others?

 The Black Rock is a sailing ship!

 Okaaaaay. How did it get there? Why do we care?

 The end.

Good luck with tonight's episode, everyone. And God bless.


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