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I Love You, Chris

When someone like me hears about a show titled something like Everybody Hates Chris, it's pretty much a given that someone like me is going to watch. Because we Chrises must stick together: Chris is a fairly puffy, soft, vague name and we need the support. Seriously. Kings aren't named Christopher. Presidents aren't named Christopher. Who's named Christopher? Nobody. Kings, presidents, inventors, heroes, they're all named John and Michael and William and George. Even Ronald has a better rep than Christopher.

So I'll be voting for Christopher Walken for president, I think Christopher Lee deserves some kind of Oscar -- most enormous comeback, maybe -- Christopher Reeve should be sainted. Christopher Guest is the most amusing member of British royalty and I hope Topher Grace runs his own network someday.

And Chris Rock, well, he's at the peak of his powers and we're lucky to be here to see it. I'm too young for Richard Pryor, and Bill Cosby's gotten awfully cranky; Eddie Murphy's sort of wandered off into Mediocre Movieland. But Chris Rock is on top now, and we should get as much of him as we can before he starts slipping -- if he ever does.


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