We watch... so you don't have to.

This looks TERRIBLE!

I now present a description of NBC's sweeps-month drama 10.5: Apocalypse, with my favorite parts boldfaced.


"10.5: Apocalypse, Part I"

THE EARTH SHAKES LIKE NEVER BEFORE IN SEQUEL TO POPULAR '10.5' MINISERIES -- In NBC's high-octane thrill ride "10.5: Apocalypse," the deadly seismic activities that peaked with a 10.5 earthquake and devastated the West Coast in the first miniseries have altered the core structure of the Earth -- and now threaten to jeopardize North America and the Western Hemisphere, causing catastrophic events. In a desperate bid to save lives and the country, President Hollister (Emmy-Award and Golden Globe winner Beau Bridges) once again calls upon one of the nation's top seismologists, controversial scientist Dr. Samantha Hill (Emmy winner Kim Delaney, "NYPD Blue") and her supervisor and former boyfriend Dr. Jordan Fisher (David Cubitt, NBC's "Medium"). At a loss for how to interpret this continued seismic and now volcanic disruption, Hill re-discovers her seismologist-father's (Frank Langella, "Superman Returns") much-discredited hypothesis from years past that, if correct, predicts even greater ruin and a complete altering of the North American continent. The movie also stars Dean Cain ("The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story"), Oliver Hudson ("The Mountain"), Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon ("NYPD Blue"), Carlos Bernard ("24"), Carly Pope ("Popular") and Barbara Eve Harris ("Ignition").


"10.5: Apocalypse, Part II"

GROUND-SHAKING CONCLUSION TO SEQUEL OF POPULAR '10.5' MINISERIES -- In the dramatic conclusion of "10.5: Apocalypse," the nation's team of top seismologists led by Dr. Hill (Kim Delaney, "NYPD Blue") continue to race against the clock to decipher the unprecedented series of quakes assaulting the nation -- and to their horror, they now realize the activity could trigger a split of the entire continent. There is no choice now but to find and rescue Dr. Earl Hill (Frank Langella, "Superman Returns"), who is trapped inside a Las Vegas casino buried due to a major quake. Leading the efforts is FEMA field commander Natalie Warner (Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon, "NYPD Blue") and her team of rescuers, including firefighters and brothers Brad (Dean Cain, "The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story") and Will Malloy (Oliver Hudson, "The Mountain"), whose wife (Carly Pope, "Popular") is also trapped. When Dr. Hill is saved, he is rejoined with his daughter Samantha (Delaney) -- and the fate of the nation rides on their last attempt to stop the runaway fault line. Beau Bridges ("The Ballad of Jack and Rose"), Carlos Bernard ("24") and Barbara Eve Harris ("Ignition") also star.

Man. How can you not watch?


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