Gentlemen! Are you tired of parrying queries from loved ones and employers about when you'll settle down? Are you irritated by the raised eyebrows that greet you when you introduce your roommate? Would you like to enter into a marriage of convenience in order to smooth your daily transactions, from securing that exclusive apartment to negotiating through that otherwise awkard client dinner? Then try out for The Confirmed Bachelor, the latest look at love from the creative team that gave us The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. This totally confidential show, airing nationwide on our networks at 8 p.m. on Wednesday night this spring, will help you find the perfect partner for your social scam.

Ladies! When you marry, would you rather go for love and sex, or a lucrative, slightly formal arrangement with a discreet gay man? If you'd rather not bother with all the fuss that invariably accompanies having a "relationship" with someone who finds you "interesting" and "attractive," consider a contractual union with someone who will only pester you for prearranged social appearances -- leaving you to live your own life the rest of the time. For open-minded, independent women, this is a win-win situation!

Contestants and the Confirmed Bachelor will be whisked off to colorful Fire Island, New York, for twelve whirlwind weeks of fun and forced courtship. Contestants will be graded on fashion sense, love of performing arts, emotional detachment and discretion; whichever lucky girl asks the fewest probing questions about what the Confirmed Bachelor is really doing after hours will win the hand, if not the heart, of the Confirmed Bachelor.

Click here to apply for The Confirmed Bachelor. Who knows? Maybe you'll find true love -- or a legally recognized facade thereof -- with ABC!

Coming Soon: Celebrity Confirmed Bachelor! No stars have currently been attached to this series, but we have some ideas.