1/17/05
Hostile
I'm getting married to the real love of my life. It's my second marriage, his first. We're planning on a small, tasteful wedding in my parents' backyard. Since many of my relatives attended my first wedding, they're fine with skipping the second. The problem is that his family doesn't respect our need to keep the guest list small. Although our guest list is extremely well-edited and carefully planned, my fiance's niece said she'll be bringing a date. We didn't specify that she could on her invitation. The niece is enough of a princess to make a real stink when we bring this up. How do we tell her we didn't intend for her to bring a date, and we don't intend to feed him at the reception? -- Hospitality Thwarted
You did the right thing in coming to me. And now, I'm going to do right by you. So here's what we're gonna do. Give me her address. I'm going to take her for a little ride, explain a few things. If she still insists on bringing a date -- well, I know this abandoned train cargo container. I'm gonna throw her in there with you, and shut you up overnight. It can go one of two ways. You can work out your differences, or one of you can kill the other. I hope you'll be able to work out your differences. If not? I'll take the survivor for a pancake breakfast afterward. It's the least I can do.
Posted by Vic Mackey at 2:11 AM
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