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3/17/05

Looking for Pain

My fiancee was recently killed in a mysterious train accident -- even though the train wasn't moving, she was found pinned beneath a cargo container. It's tragic. But when I buried her, I didn't feel grief, but relief. You see, I was planning on calling off the wedding because she was a style-obsessed control freak.

So here's my problem. My sister married this guy with a really hot daughter, and although this girl's technically my niece, or my step-niece, I don't feel very avuncular toward her. I'd actually like to date her. She's 19, so she's legal, and it's not like we're related. My question: how long must I observe a period of mourning before asking my niece on a date? And should I be concerned that this girl was seen near the railyard the day before my fiancee was found? I could use some good cop advice here. -- Looking for Love Again

Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop. A bald, morally ambiguous cop. I hope that's good enough for you, you advice-seeking scumsucker. You don't score points with me bagging 19-year-olds, and you certainly aren't impressing me with bagging your niece. Guy like you, with a fiancee recently and tragically murdered? You should at least look like you're grieving, and keep your hands to yourself. I'm going to be checking back on the girl from time to time. I better like what I find.

Posted by Vic Mackey at 5:11 AM

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