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11/18/04

Dennis is a Bastard

Sorry about my previous outburst. I know some of you were concerned.

You see, one of my new favorite shows is "Jack and Bobby." I love this warm, nuanced and idealistic look at us Americans, and it's been a great comfort to me after all the recent election ugliness. And, yes, I even watch the show despite the presence of Dennis Martino. I can see where he'd be forced to change his name and assume a new life after being left at the altar -- love of Carol Vessey is so transforming, and I know all too well how a man's soul can be turned inside out if this golden goddess of humanity's finer feelings turns the light of her love away from you and toward another. So I watch the show with great sympathy toward Dennis Martino. We have our suffering in common. It transcends the dark period in which he was the obstacle between me and my true love. I have forgiven him, because I have seen him suffer.

So I was looking forward to tonight's episode. My brother in arms failed to appear once on screen. I blame HIM. HE was on the episode. Because HE is now mocking me. Was it not enough to steal my woman? Was it not enough to ruin my favorite sitcom? Must he attempt to make EVERYTHING I LOVE soiled with his noxious presence?

Worse still -- why must the doppelganger who stole my life and love now treat them so cheaply by CHEATING on sweet precious Carol with OTHER MEN?

Posted by Ed Stevens at 4:44 AM

This page is part of TeeVeePad, a satirical site by TeeVee.org. None of the public figures in this parody are the actual authors of any of the content. All of this work is completely fictional and intended for satirical purposes. Lawsuits are unnecessary.

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