3/16/2005
Where, Oh Where, Has My CSI Gone?
Called up Anthony Zuiker today to tell him to get cracking on another CSI spinoff.
"I think we're stretched pretty thin with three spinoffs as it is, Mr. Moonves," he said.
"I don't recall asking you to think," I replied. That shut him up pretty good.
The twist to this one is that instead of an crime investigative team led by a relentlessly dedicated man and his sexy female assistant, this version of CSI will star a relentlessly dedicated woman and her sexy male assistant. Also, the male investigator will have a mustache. It's completely different from the other shows.
Right now, I've got the choices for the female part narrowed down to either Meryl Streep, Glenn Close or that Amber chick from Survivor. I want one of those WB kids for the male hottie. I wonder if James Van Der Beek has the range to play a guy with a mustache.
The only thing that's got me stumped is where to set the show. As usual Zuicker was no help.
"Minneapolis?"
"Not cosmopolitan enough."
"Chicago?"
"Too midwestern."
"Los Angeles?"
"Too many weirdos."
"Portland, Maine?"
"Not enough weirdos."
"Dallas?"
"Red states turn off more liberal viewers."
"San Francisco?"
"Blue states will never play in the heartland."
"Long Island?"
"Awfully close to CSI: New York, wouldn't you say, Zuiker?"
"Uh... Jersey?"
"You are just about useless, has anyone ever told you that?"
"You do fairly regularly, Mr. Moonves."
So I do.
Posted by Les at 3:13:40 PM
Comments
I dunno -- doesn't adding yet another CSI knock-off water down the interest in the original, not to mention compromise the artistic integrity of the people who work so hard to create original programming? -- Billy P.Interesting thought. How does not receiving a paycheck affect your artistic integrity? -- Les
I like getting paid... in cash! -- Caruso
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