WASHINGTON — President Matthew Santos Friday gave a groundbreaking address to the nation in which he insisted on his continued relevance.

“I was elected by the American people and I will continued to be your servant,” Santos said from the oval office. “I know it seems as if nobody has been paying attention to me since the day I was inaugurated and President Bartlet left office, but I’m still working hard for all of you.”

Outside the White House, two local residents stood on soapboxes at the corner of the National Mall and shouted at each other, debating the merits of the President’s case.

“This is the same old liberal crap,” shouted William O’Reilly, 58, wearing a beanie made of aluminum foil and a pair of gloves with the fingers cut off. A large appreciative crowd of elderly conservatives was gathered around Mr. O’Reilly’s box. “Santos and the rest of the Democrats should be ashamed of themselves.”

“Shut up, Bill!” shouted Keith Olbermann, 48, who held a large cardboard sign reading “THE END IS NIGH” and smelled faintly of urine. He was surrounded by a slightly smaller crowd than the one around Mr. O’Reilly, made up largely of hippies. “Santos is good, but more importantly, Bill, YOU SUCK!”

“That’s just sad,” said Anderson Cooper, 39, a local man wearing a stylish suit and tie who was passing by the two older men. “They really should have a little more respect for themselves.”