3/28/05
Could I Be Any More Disa... Ah, Screw It
"I've got some good news and some bad news," my agent said when I picked up the phone. The last time he opened a conversation that way, I wound up starring in the Windows 95 Video Guide.
"The good news," he continued, "is that Courtney is very excited about doing a Friends spinoff."
"Well, that's grea..."
"The bad news is, she doesn't want to do it with you."
Good news, Kudrow. You're no longer my least favorite Friend.
"It seems," my agent said, "that Bings! will now go into production as Monica!. Courtney felt that audiences would be more interested in seeing a show about a young single person. And Jeff Zucker agreed."
"Yeah, I kind of gathered he would. So maybe there could be a Chandler! spin-off, too?"
"No dice. Zucker says he can only air one crummy Friends spinoff at a time."
"But with Joey and Monica! on the air, that means that there will be two..."
"Let's just say you should start ordering the FTD Pick-Me-Up Boquet for Matt now and avoid the rush."
"Oh. Well, that's a a three-hour phone call I'm not looking forward too."
"Jeff did say he might have a place for you on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy."
"As a makeover candidate?"
"No, as a member of the Fab Five. Carson's getting a little too big for his britches from what I hear."
"Jeff's aware I'm not actually gay, right?"
"Yes, but he says as far as the general public is concerned, you might as well be."
"Well, I'll think about it."
"Don't think too long. He made the same offer to David Hyde Pierce."
Posted by mp at 4:30 PM
Comments
Tough break, Matt. Too bad Chris Farley passed on, or you could always fall back on Almost Heroes 2. Ha! -- SchwimmerYes, David. Too bad the movie-going public's taste hasn't died or you could go back to making movies. -- mp
You're really a heartless prick, you know that? -- Schwimmer
Matt, if you're still up for an Almost Heroes sequel, I've found that audiences pretty much consider fat funnymen to be more or less interchangeable. Interested? -- Horatio Sanz
Horatio, give my agent a call! -- mp
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